Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Ace...

U-Ag-I Mueller's Crazy Ace AX, MXJ, ASCA-CD, UD, AD, SSA, SJ, SR, NAC, TDI, ATTX, VCCX

Aka Ace...Acer pup, Bubba Gump

1-11-99 to 11-25-12

It's taken a week to really even want to blog about it...and I know I will blog more later when things are a little less painful.

But, we had to help Ace to the rainbow bridge last Tuesday...his body was done...

My first dog to train, obedience, agility, therapy, you name it...he did it. 

He taught me so much, how to deal with stress, anxiety, fear and how much heart a dog can truly have...

It was one of the hardest things I have ever done...I can't even imagine having to do it again another 6 times...makes me never want to get another dog again...ever.

Today he came back to us...his ashes are in the house now...it feels somewhat complete...but I am still crying at very odd moments...
Having just six dogs seems so wrong...having no Ace to feed seems so wrong, no Ace to love on...It's empty...

But he was ready...I know that. It still doesn't make it hurt anymore. I am hoping in a month or two or 6 I can look at pictures of him...and smile...not burst into tears. 

So I'll just show you a picture of him that I happened to have on my phone from a while back...Purina Farms...the good old days...I think we were trying to get out of Open this day...in the rain. He did :) Good boy.
And a video...I found this on my iPhone last week...I try to spend time alone daily with each of my dogs, especially the ones that don't get worked...the older ones, I treasure those moments...

For some reason I videoed it...no idea why. But I did...yes I know it is a stupid video...but that is what I have as my last remembrance of my boy...and it's such a cute way to see him :)

Rest well my sweet boy...we miss you so much.  

Sorry for not blogging...it's just been tough. I am grateful for all the amazing emails, FB messages etc. for Ace...he touched a lot of people's lives in addition to ours...he was one of a kind...

10 comments:

K9 Chaos said...

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal. -Old Irish Headstone

I know how hard it is. I have lost 3 dogs in the past 3 years. When you spend 10-15 years with a dog (family member) it's really hard to get used to not having them around. I still miss all 3 everyday. May your pain get less and the memories get sweeter.

Monique said...

I love your video. Brought a tear. It never gets easier to let them go. I'm a few ahead of you but it still is hard, every single time. If it stops being hard, it is time to stop having dogs.

In time, you will be able to look back on the photos and smile. You'll have such *treasures* in those memories. I know I wish I had video of my last 2 dogs I lost but I didn't have a video camera then :(

You'll have the odd moment when it just hits you now and then. That's normal - that's *real* and that's what love does to us.

I'm not a big sappy quote girl, but this one gives me that heart-achy smile every time.

"It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are."

-Unknown

todd ikey said...

Likewise this brings to mind memories of my Tessa who passed away tragically 2 years ago. I still shed a tear for her now and then. I am glad you shared this with us :)

Diana said...

Love the picture of you and Ace. It just says is all. Sweet and loving.

Laura, Lance, and Vito said...

That is such a sweet video. I wish I had the privilege of knowing Ace, you have always described him as such an amazing dog.

Dawn said...

Please continue to share. Sharing my sadness when I lost Grace was one of the things that has helped me start to heal. I have a long way to go, and I know you do too. But it is wasier to share, the burden, the joys, the laughter and the tears. Peace in your memories, and know he will always be in your heart.

Sarah said...

I know how you feel :( take your time, it's such a huge loss, it's been 9 months since I lost Jane (my first everything too) and somedays I feel like she is still here and other days I still cry. Great friends make a world of difference especially those they have had losses too. Take care, and rest well sweet Ace

Robin French said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. He looks like he was a great pup.

Steffi said...

I am so very sorry for your loss of Ace. Love the picture of you and Ace as well as the video - what a special guy.

corbinwooten said...

I know I don't know you personally, but I did want to say that I'm very sorry for your loss.