Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Sheep Want To Kill Me In My Sleep...

I am going to interrupt my current love affair with guitars and all things guitars to talk about other things for a short while.
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Day 61: Puttin' On The SEXY GEAR!!!!

That's right ladies and gentlemen...it's that time. Spring time, lambing time. Time for me to bring sexy back. And by that, I mean dawning my lovely rubber boots, ripped up jeans (which I do NOT tuck into my boots), hair in a ponytail (oh wait...I am always rockin' a ponytail), and wearing mismatched socks (shit...maybe I just look like I do everyday). Time to smell of sheep shit, afterbirth, and covered in mystery liquids...which is NOT a normal thing. But makes me completely irresistible. The husband can't keep his hands off of me during this time of the year...usually carrying a bottle of industrial cleaner and a loofah. But I will take it as me just being so damn amazing.

The sheep however, want me to go F**k myself. Or die, or both...they got sheared yesterday. A REALLY cold day...and yeah. To say they are unhappy with me is an understatement. F**K you Loretta...

This is the ewe I call "ugly"...yeah. I don't think I have to explain this.

I can't say I blame them...I can only think how cold it has to be, I imagine myself, completely naked (but amazingly with the body of Heidi Klum) sitting in the barn, freezing my ass off. That would suck.

So...to cure this guilt, I feed them, so they are fatter...so I feel better. Like it matters. See? Fat = Warm! RIGHT??

I wouldn't shear them if they would understand to HAVE THE LAMBS INSIDE THE BARN. But if we leave the wool on the ewes, they pop the lambs out into the snow, normally when there is a blizzard going on, and it is 30 below zero. If we shear them, they go into the barn, where there is no wind...and heat lamps. Perfect. Sorry ladies, smarten up and I might not make you naked next year.Lambing doesn't start for a few weeks...so they have a bit to get used to the new "look". We have a USDAA trial this month, and hopefully no one goes before that. I hope you choke on your own spit...

Thanks # 42, I love you too! :) HUGS! They'll survive...they always do. And the first warm day we have, they will all sit outside and get sunburned. So I will then have pink sheep :) I love the color pink :) Little pink sheep. So cute...yes I am morbid.Looks like most of them are carrying twins, there might be one that has a set of triplets...we will see. I love lambing. I enjoy the night checks, I enjoy getting up at 4 am, I enjoy all of it. I wish we had more land as I would love to have a hundred or more... They're just so damn cute...I want to hug them too...but they stink and don't like me.

The dogs are ready...VERY ready. But for now, they just wait...tick, tock...tick, tock...
HELLO LOVER...OK...sorry...done...

3 comments:

Kristin said...

I love lambing season. What breed do you have? I should be able to tell, but I can't.
So you know, the sheep's skin actually thickens for a couple weeks post shearing. It keeps them warm while they are naked.

Loretta Mueller said...

Good to know Kristin! That makes me feel better :)

They are wool crosses, Cheviot/Rambs/Isle De France type crosses....more Cheviot in the mix.

We are hoping to get a Cheviot ram this next breeding season.Like the Cheviot look :)

D said...

I think having the amazing body of Heidi Klum might make freezing a bit easier to take.