Saturday, March 5, 2011

It's A Good Thing I Don't Have Children...

Day 63: Feelin' Alright...Oh yeah...Feelin' Alright...

Ok, not really...maybe more like "feelin' a bit betta"...but I'll take it. Lynn's swelling is going down. She is walking with not a HUGE limp now. She wanted to play a bit this am...which is good (even though I am not letting her)...still lots of heat in several places...and I am still icing. Which of course she hates me for. Sorry Stewart.

Which got me thinking...if I was a parent of a real kid, that would be bad. I would be that mom, who shanks another kid for beating up on my kid. I would gun down another parent...it wouldn't be pretty. I would probably be OK until the kid went to school...then I would end up in prison. Death row most likely...mess with my child, I will drop your ass faster than...well...not sure, never "dropped" someone, but I could get all ghetto on your ass if you touched my kid. White woman gone ghetto...wow...sounds scary just reading it right??

I feel as bad about my dogs. Don't mess with my dogs, don't get in between me and my dogs etc etc. Good thing I don't have a concealed weapon...I would probably already be in prison. My dogs are as close to kids as I can imagine. Right now Lynn is wishing I didn't love her so much...as my love is being shown with icing...and drugs, and crate rest...or couch rest.

But they are not kids, I don't treat them like little humans or anything. I have 7 of them after all, can't let them run the house or buy them everything they want (note to self...the land and the sheep...you don't have a leg to stand on). And I don't let them control me with their sad stories (sure...I bought that toy last week, but Even REALLY wanted it)...I am a rock, I am the leader, they all mind me without question! No we don't, you know it...and it's sad that you are trying to tell the world we listen...stop it, you look like a moron.

Shut it Lynn, I may be a moron, but I am a moron with a BAG OF ICE. Ha...put THAT in your pipe Stewart!Please, please help me...someone...make her stop.

I love my puppies...love love love. Gonna go hug all of them while they try to fend me off, pushing me away with their feet. They really love me...they just don't know it yet. I'm in a hugging mood...

Guitar lesson today! WOO HOO!!! I am now going to be a Ghetto Dog Momma who can play a mean guitar...one word for that "awesome"...or maybe "special", but I like awesome better :)

3 comments:

D said...

Glad she is feeling better every day!

"can't let them run the house or buy them everything they want"

SOCK MONKEYS, I'm just sayin...

Ricky the Sheltie said...

Very glad to hear that Lynn is improving! Scary, scary fall and thank goodness it wasn't worse.

Emily said...

Glad she is feeling better!
As for the children part...had a lady call Dexter 'chubby' one day, which he is NOT. Took all my self control to not punch her. Idiot