Thursday, February 17, 2011

Sometimes It's Just Tough...

The biggest question I get from people who figure out I am from Missouri is, "Why do you live up here?"
And my response is the same thing "Husband's job"...
Cleaning out some things in the house today I came across a photo...of my wedding day :) May 31, 2003.
This photo is going to be the photo for the weekend...and to me it is THAT important :)
Days: 49, 50 & 51: Dad

I revel in how young both of us looked :) But really, how young my dad looks here. And every time I see him when I go home...I realize how old he had gotten. I hate seeing that. I want to not even notice him changing. I want to see him so often, that I never notice it unless I look back on pictures.

We are in that part of our relationship where he is still my dad, but we are more like friends. I love that, and I miss it every, single, day.

I love our conversations...they always start out like this: Dad: Hello? Me: Hey Dad, it's the 3rd Daughter... Dad: Hello Loretta!

My family, I miss all of them so very much. And it's tough.

If you have never lived in a place where you feel you don't "belong" or it is just a stop onto something won't get this. But that is how I feel living here. Nothing against Minnesota...but it isn't ME.

I have found some amazing and lifelong friends here for sure...but I miss so much about home.

There is a peace at home I haven't found up here...the only other place I found this kind of peace was in Arizona...Sedona to be exact...not sure why. But I felt very at peace there.

Home is what you make it, I totally agree with that...but home is also a feeling, a peace, a something that probably none of us will ever understand. But I know Minnesota isn't it for me. It's a stop...I hope to something bigger, better and more home to me. I wish for it to happen sooner than later, but I am sure it will happen, patience right?

I am grateful I still have my dad, to talk on the phone to, to hug when I see him, to tear up when I see him laughing so hard he makes no noise :) His smile, everything about him...I just wish I got to experience it more.

Love you Dad, the 3rd daughter :)


Anonymous said...

I can totally relate to living in a place where you don't feel like you belong -- try growing up in Ohio and then finding yourself living in Mississippi. Culture shock! Again, because the first time didn't do it justice, CULTURE SHOCK!!!

And with your dad, treasure, really treasure, hearing him on the phone. I so miss hearing mine answer the phone, finding out it's me and saying Renee! I always knew he was smiling then.

Anonymous said...

Oh I love is wonderful and amazing :)