Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Question for the audience...

How do all of you block out negative crap. There seems to be a very large amount of it lately where I agility especially...

I would love to hear what others do to help block all the people that feel the need to make others feel bad for their own personal benefit, play mind games etc.

I have no need for them, and my only thought is to just keep to myself and not really speak with anyone...but what fun is THAT? I am social, but every year I find myself being less and less social and just staying under my tent.

I am getting to where there are only a few trials I really enjoy going to. A few trials where people are supportive and want people to succeed. Or if they don't want you to succeed, they keep their mouths shut at least :)

NO I am not saying all people are like this, but a few bad apples really can ruin a trial if they won't go do their own thing and leave people alone.

Yes I know people have their own agendas...and what they are doing with their lives is of no worry to me...but I can have a hard time blocking it out. And well, with 3 weeks away from home, stress, going to a trial to run my baby dog, I need all the help I can get...any and all thoughts are welcome!


Diana said...

Ive had that happen to me and Im not even good at agility. I hardly talk to anyone at trials. But I have found a few people that are very nice and I know I can talk to them without any negativity. Plus my instructor is awesome at making you feel good about something in your run even when you feel like it was a disaster. So I usually try to pay it forward. So maybe you can hang out with a student, who may need a pick me up too. Sorry people are mean. And sorry I dont have any great words of wisdome. Diana

Monique said...

I understand your frustration. I don't have it too much in agility, but in stockdog stuff its really hard. I try to keep my relationships one-on-one and steer the conversation away or end it when it gets negative. If it gets gossipy, I just excuse myself. And yes, then everyone thinks I'm a bitch.

Stick It Border Collies said...

Just ignore it!

I look at it as: It isn't my problem and unless someone is telling me something directly to my face...i simply..JUST DON'T CARE!!

Stuff gets said and that is just the way agility, flyball, herding,and life in general is!

Ricky the Sheltie said...

We are lucky to have some supportive friends in the agility world here and we just hang out with them. If I hear anyone being negative, I ignore them. I like what Diana said about paying it forward!

Barbara said...

I stay away from people with that (repeatedly) kind of attitude. Sure, people have bad days, but if you are *always* pissed at the world, then mumble about it to yourself. I generally hang out with people who are fun.

There're a few people who generally point out what I have done wrong, and as much as I try to avoid them somehow they manage to find me. I recently have planned out a "you know, all you ever say to me is negative, in all honesty I would rather not hear it" but I have yet to use that to them. (I am waitin' for the chance).

One reason I wear headphones with my mp3 player is to drown that out when I am walking. The endless discussion on rules and "this is so hard" crap that some people just always have to spew.

I am going to take a lot of time off from trialing this fall to retrain Speck's Contacts (to running, lord help me!) and I thought I would miss the social aspect of trialing and I thought to myself---I can still see my friends away from the ring and I don't think I will miss it much.

Get a mp3 player, put some good music on and read a book.

Monique said...

What Barb says about nixing criticism is key. When I walk off the field, I don't want to walk into a knot of handlers waiting to tell me everything I did wrong.

I have gone so far as to say, "Wow, I really liked part X," and if they continue, I simply say, "I'd rather focus on the positive parts of my run right now. I'm sure there is plenty to fix, but I was happy with that."

Anonymous said...

I understand this frustration, and it happens in most dog related sports and is probably endemic to human nature. I do notice that people seem less friendly than when I first got into the sport- but perhaps that is because I'm no longer percieved as a beginner.

To combat this, I try to remember why I do it. For me, it's about spending quality time with my dogs. Whenever I feel like I'm being shunned, I just remember that, and go off and shape some fun games with my canine partners. I also use trialing as an opportunity to control how I respond to situations. I always want to have a positive attitude, because that's what makes me feel great inside. Nobody else should have the power to influence my attitude and mood, unless it is for the better.

I also look for opportunities to make someone else's experience just a little bit nicer. Easier said than done, but something that I try to do.

Debra Kay said...

I try to focus on what I want to do and the dogs and keep conversations around the day at hand.

Dog people/horse people/animal people in general have opinions, lots of opinions-(me too) but a trial is not the place to discuss the future of the sport, or body structure best suited for weave poles or any of that. Add strong opinions to trial nerves-it's just not pleasant.

I'd rather look at a trial is sort of a party where you play with your dogs too-and keep topics light.