Friday, April 15, 2011

Ernestine!! :)

I figured I was due to give an update on Miss Ernestine/Rosemary/Satan.

We have transitioned her to being outside with the rest of the herd. And at this point she is doing very well. She is using her leg more and more and has made friends with the other lambs. She is also acting more like a sheep, yet still VERY attached to humans. She is still getting 4 bottles a day and will continue that trend for many more weeks.
Hanging with all her peeps :) She's on the far left.
Now, to say she wasn't happy about the situation at first is a HUGE understatement...she was pissed.
I can't believe you are leaving me here, I AM HUMAN!!!! HUMAN I TELL YOU!

And I'm not going to say anything, but she MIGHT have gotten out of the pasture a time, or 20, and hung out at the house while I was gone...
I'll tear this barn down if I have to! I AM HUMAN!!!!

And she MIGHT have interrupted a few of my agility lessons, running full tilt from the barn, screaming at the top of her lungs. Which MIGHT have caused a dog to completely have a meltdown...he will be having PTSD dreams of rabid sheep for the rest of his poor life.
Please? I love you...I REALLY, REALLY love you...

And she MIGHT have gotten out, and chased down one of our neighbors, who was walking her toddler in a stroller. And tried to nurse off of one of them...maybe...

Sadly for Ernestine/Rosemary/Satan...each and every time, this got her put back in the pen. Even the "alleged neighbor" plopped her back into the pasture :) She informed me of this that afternoon. I had to apologize for the sheep molesting she received and she just laughed. Good thing my neighbors have a sense of humor :)
So now, she has given up and joined the herd...well sort of. If she is hungry and you don't feed her she WILL make a dramatic exit from the pasture. Running as fast as she can, and then head butt you right in the crotch. For sure this will wake you up in the morning...I know this, oh yes...I know. SO, don't go outside without being armed with a bottle. Here is your warning.

And the dogs no longer see her as a cute thing...she is officially a sheep. Even would like to get her in a dark room with no cameras for 5 minutes apparently. She has decided to attempt a serial killing on the poor lambie. So we have to keep a good eye out when the Steven is about.
But now, she is reunited with her brother! Doesn't he look like her? He actually doesn't remember that she is his sister though. She's tried to tell him, but without a paternity test (makes me think of the Maury Povich show--"In the case of Ernestine/Rosemary/Satan---you ARE THE FATHER!!!") he doesn't believe her. And neither does her mother. Sad...
I am thinking, he just REALLY likes having that udder all to himself. Greedy little bugger.

Ernestine/Rosemary/Satan (to be from this moment forward abbreviated as ERS) HAS made friends with the only other REALLY annoying lamb in the herd.
Miss Meth Head--ERS screams, Meth Head screams, neither really know WHY they are screaming. But it's annoying...when they scream, the dogs in the house hear it, and they are convinced something is wrong (ok well Even is hoping someone is bleeding)...so they all RUSH to the patio door and make this weird whistling sound. This makes me cranky...and I can't cuss at them anymore, so they don't take me seriously. Awesome.

Winter decided to come back and visit the last couple of days, today it is 32 and raining...so the lambs are stuck inside...

Most of them just sleep, I would...why not?
Some are working on their perch exercises for hind end awareness for agility, I think that is brilliant. What a work ethic!!!
While the majority of them are determined to destroy the barn. Ripping things out of the trashcans that they can reach, chewing on the wood, the tin, the fence panels. You name it.
They found the "AMAZING PLASTIC BAG THINGIE" and that took over all the entertainment for the day.
OMG! OMG! COME EVERYONE!!! LETS CHEW ON THIS BAG!!!! AWESOME!!!!! OMG!!!!!
I could take it away from them, but in reality, if they are eating the plastic bag, they are leaving the barn alone. I hope I don't go out there this evening and find one with a bag around it's head, laying in the back of the barn, with a suicide note. But I guess, that's a risk I am willing to take. It's cold out there man...

Do any of you remember Miss Cleo (please say this in a Jamaican accent like the psychic lady on TV--Misssaaaa Cleooooo requested it)...yeah, she's fat. Probably the fattest barn kitty ever. But she's cute...kinda. She IS a cat...so the cuteness only goes so far.
One thing that is fun about the lambs is they are all starting to look a little different now. At first all you see is tons of little, white, woolly things. Now...they are developing differences. So I can tell them apart and see who are the trouble makers.
Not this one...
And not this one...
THIS one...it's always the cute ones...always.

Day 100: NOT GOOD...
These two are NEVER a good combination...bad things always happen...be afraid, be VERY afraid.

And, on a completely different subject...

I have allergies. Something I developed when moving up to this lovely state. And allergies suck. If you don't have them, you are very lucky. And if you do have them, you know how I feel.

So...I have to have drugs, it's that simple. No drugs equals a gross, snotty, nasty, cranky, Elmer Fud sounding Loretta. Bleck. Add red nose to that list too. I'm too lazy to hit delete and scroll back to add it properly. So sue me...

So, off I went to Walmart to pick up some Claritin-D...which, with the decongestant in it, makes me nauseous...but I figure, nausea=no eat. I can, in theory, not eat for oh, 5 months and be OK. Fat is for starvation times. So lets just test that theory. Nausea is much better than the 34 pounds of snot in my sinuses.

There is this STUPID law, about all the "D" drugs. People use them to make meth...along with liquid nitrogen, battery acid etc etc. I don't know the entire details of making meth, but apparently cold medicine is a HUGE ingredient. As you can't purchase it off the shelves and you can ONLY purchase enough for however many days etc etc. NO MORE than that. NO MORE.

Remember this...

So I go up to the cashier woman, nose red, sniffling, kleenex in hand, red, itchy eyes...etc etc. To buy my Claritin-D. I was informed that I had already purchased a 15 pill pack a week ago and I can't get anymore for another 8 days. The husband has that 15 pill pack, I bought it for him. He is in Missouri right now...with his little pack of pills, all happy in his allergy free bubble...and I was stuck here. With no way to purchase some allergy meds for ALLERGIES.

I mean...seriously. Do I LOOK like someone that is addicted to meth? I am fat and have good teeth...really. If I was on meth I would at LEAST be thin, I've seen the pictures. Not sure how long it takes for the teeth to rot out of their heads...but honestly.

SURE, if I drove up to Walmart, pulling a tank of Liquid Nitrogen behind my Toyota Corolla, buying 56 car batteries and wanted 37 boxes of Claritin...THAT might be red flag...

Blood test me! Do a full body cavity search, I'll bend over! JUST GIVE ME MY "BLEEPING" DRUGS!!!!

Sigh...druggies make it all harder for the rest of us...I then had to contemplate having to ask someone to go get some allergy meds for me...which made me feel like I was breaking the law. All for some relief from my symptoms...

What if Walmart knew they were buying for me? What if my friend had to take the fall for buying Claritin-D and doing a black market trade on the down low?!?!?

I don't break the law...like ever. I was thinking I would have to pop some Xanax to help with the anxiety of getting my "hit" of Claritin-D...probably have a ban on Xanax too...

So after the drive to Walmart, being DENIED my drugs...I drove home in misery, my car filled to the brim with used tissues (which I forgot to purchase due to my extreme thoughts of murdering the pharmacy tech Marsha, Martha, Whateverhername was...I have a word for her...MANY actually. But I can't say them. Use your imagination)...and 7 hours later found a box of Claritin-D in the guest bathroom while looking for more tissues...

Don't make meth, it pisses me off OK? Thanks...

4 comments:

Shenna Lemche AKA Project Leader said...

LUUUURRRRVVVVEEEE the lambies! Even your naughty pants Houdini ERS. I think you should train her for agility. Yay, new project! :)

You reminded me- I must refill my Rx for Allegra lest I turn into the aforementioned mass of snotty, watery YUCK. :( Pollen...you suck.

Diana said...

Go to a different pharmacy. Not walmart. They don't yet have everything linked up so you should be able to buy it some where else.

Rocket Roxie said...

Those lambs are FABULOUS!!!
~Roxie
You know when I think lamb I think CUTE!!!
~Dyno
Awww too cute!
~Bella

Loretta Mueller said...

LOL Shenna :) Too bad they will be all big when you come up to Little Falls for the trials...otherwise you could come and see them :)

Yeah...pollen and I are NOT close.

Diana...REALLY? Did I mention how much I love you?? Well, if I did't, I LOVE YOU DIANA. :)

Thanks Roxie, Dyno and Bella!! :)