Day 40: Problems with Stewart Little...

Day 40: Obsession...

We have a problem...Stewart Little has become ball obsessed...we do running DW stuff each day...so to HER, just fetching a ball (how freaking cool that is how she views it)...and we fetch, and fetch...and fetch...

She sleeps by the garage door...waiting for the glorious moment she and the ball can become one... Normally this isn't an issue, but in the winter it is an issue...we play ball all the time when we are outside. I don't allow fetch inside the house. No, not because it causes "training issues"...I just don't need 7 dogs flying full speed into my coffee table. So we don't allow tennis balls in the house. BUT...tennis balls are allowed in the green room. And they are allowed when we work running DW's. So...because of the lack of "ball activity" (oh that sends my mind into the gutter) the tennis ball becomes a VERY HIGH commodity in Lynn's mind. And because SHE is the special one that gets to train in the green room, she feels a sense of entitlement.

Here in lies the problem. When I want to go out in the green room, sit on my butt, and take a nap while my dogs all play with each other...it doesn't happen...why you ask...because Lynn does this... And doesn't move...and then she gets the dogs all doing THIS... BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL, BALL....

So no one moves...they all just f*cking stand there...staring...for an hour...waiting for the moment Lynn will forget she has the coveted ball...which never happens... Could you get that ball from Lynn? I would really like to play with it... I want ball, I am too much of a wuss to try to get it from her...please get it?

And I do, and I throw it...and someone gets it, and Lynn runs by and RIPS it out of their mouths...

So I just made my dogs ALL now come to me to play fetch...and Lynn still has the damn ball. And won't let others have it...and she lays there... Diz my ball...I make scary face...iz mine...K thanks... That Jack is gonna steal my ball...does he SEE my scary face??
Stop staring at me...I'm gonna kick yer ass... We're not staring?!!? Whaaaa? No staring...nope... You're staring...I am a bad a** mutha... No Lynn, your not a mutha, your a b*tch...and a selfish one at that...

Sure...there are PLENTY of other toys to play with, tuggies, jolly balls, OTHER tennis balls even...but oh no, they ALL want what Lynn has. So if Lynn is in there for playtime...no one moves...stupid Lynn. So we are working on it...I have 10 tennis balls now...and I just throw them...and Lynn does this...

I SO HAPPY...

Just you and me ball...the way it should be...I love you ball...you are my everything...

Then we go inside...and they all crash...except for Lynn who is higher than a kite because all she did was LAY ON THE GROUND WITH HER F-ING BALL... NO SMUGGLING OF CONTRABAN ZIP!!!!!

I am so ready for spring...