Thursday, January 27, 2011

No One Talks About It...

It's's something everyone wants to just put away...and you know me. I like to get that stuff out and kick it in the crotch (remember a previous post all you wonderful readers out there??). But I KNOW there are others out there just like me. And I want them to know they are NOT alone in this. If this really personal post can help ONE's worth it. I am a nobody...I have lost and regained weight...I have failed, I have succeeded...but for the FIRST time...I have learned a ton while losing weight...
So here goes...
Losing weight...and eating "right"...
Day 27: Food

Even was getting REALLY annoyed when I took this picture...she was drooling and whining...sorry Steve. Done. Here's your kibble :)

I'm down more pounds...great! And I am fitting into more pants! Even better as my "fat jeans" were just ugly :) But I know I have talked about the "journey" before...but it's really important for ME to get this on my blog. For me to realize how much this little journey has changed me. Sure, I could fail at this weight loss journey, but damnit, I WON'T.

I am running faster, I am stronger, I am doing a decent job of keeping up with Lynn's Running DW's...

In one more pound, I will be back to a weight I was in 2007. And for the first time EVER...I can say (which is more important than anything else)...I am NOT relying on food for comfort.

I have always had a bad relationship with food...I always wished I could reprogram myself back to when I was 4 and ate without emotion. But I can't, I am an emotional eater. Any emotion would do really, bored, sad, stressed, happy, SUPER happy...anything. Food was a huge comfort for me. And I think it is for a lot of people. No...people won't ADMIT it...but food does give comfort.

And then you start dieting...they tell you to take all that away. As apparently NO ONE has any personal connection to food. That we all overeat because food is REALLY that good. is good...but really, if I looked at myself, food was a security blanket.

So you effectively strip away that blanket, leaving you with no way to cope with your emotions. It really sucks...and it forces you (for the week or two that you can manage) to deal with those emotions...and then BAM...something happens that triggers it, and you are back using food again.

Sure...eating right is a GREAT way to lose weight. And some people CAN just go cold turkey and do personally...I wasn't able to. I needed to be weaned off my security blanket, so...I'll admit it...I didn't get rid of all the junk food. Nope...

And I am winning this battle. I am finding OTHER coping mechanisms for my #1 trigger which is stress...and exercise has been huge for this. I now, will go exercise when I am stressed. Sure...I would LOVE to down an entire chocolate cake...nom nom nom. But won't make me feel better (no matter HOW MUCH my brain tells me this) I tell myself "5 minutes on the treadmill...start with 5 minutes"...and I never gotten off the treadmill and ate. Exercise has been a godsend to me. Now...exercise might not be your thing...fine. Pick something. It will pass...get rid of stress.

Do I slip up, SURE...but, before, when I did...the entire next day I would beat myself up about it. Guess what? Skinny people don't. If they overeat, they are normal the next day. The world didn't end and they don't care. Neither do I...NOW...not during the beginning of this of course. But now, I don't beat myself up. Another day.

And a few funny things that I have been told that for ME (again for ME!!) don't f-ing work :)

Drink a lot of water---YES VERY IMPORTANT

Water fills you up and makes you less hungry---for ME? Bullsh*t :) I just pee more...and am still hungry...but pee more...yep.

If you want cheesecake...get a cheesecake flavored yogurt---for ME? Bullsh*t again :) GET the real thing. Eat a small amount. REALLY enjoy it. Then STOP. Practice this. It WORKS.

Eat when you are hungry---YES. And yes, I have had a cookie 1/4 of an inch from my face...and had to stop...and put it away...and walk BACKWARDS away from the cookie container. I have...and WOW what a feeling that is. To actually have CONTROL :)

Do something to distract yourself when you feel a craving---this works for me...but it was hard at first.

Eat Protein---YES. This really helps me. I am not a huge meat eater though (no I am not vegan, vegetarian etc...I just don't eat a lot of meat) so I will have some protein smoothies. Love them and it really does work.

Don't be hard on yourself---YES, you are human. It's OK.

You must exercise--YES. It helps in EVERY, SINGLE, WAY. Small stuff counts. It does!

Don't under eat, aka don't eat 800 calories a day....very stupid. You can do that, lost a ton of weight VERY QUICKLY (a lot of muscle too!)...but you can't keep that up for the rest of your life. It won't happen unless you are suffering from an eating disorder and that is NOT GOOD. Sure, I am not losing 20 pounds a month, but I am also not having an unhealthy relationship with food. And to ME, that is huge. I am losing weight steadily...and I am good with that. As I know I CAN maintain this lifestyle for the rest of my life. It took awhile to pack it all on, it should take awhile to lose it. BE OK WITH THIS.

Lean on people--I have some amazing friends that are going on the same journey as I am...we all have bad days, and that's OK. Find someone that UNDERSTANDS where you are and what you are going makes a HUGE difference!

It takes 21 days to change habits---I found this to be VERY true. So 21 days versus the rest of your life unhealthy...choose. I am going to make a POINT of choosing to change.

So...I don't eat just veggies and steak. I eat some chocolate, I eat some of whatever I want. I try really hard to get a good amount of protein and drink a lot of water. But I have been on a McChicken kick...and it's OK. I like McChickens...all full of nasty stuff...but it makes ME happy. And there. And I am still losing weight. The world will not explode, nor will the nutrition police come haul me away in hand cuffs.

I hope this helps some of you struggling. I never thought I would talk about it on my blog...but, after talking with friends I realized there really ARE a good amount of people like me. And I want you all to know it CAN change.

I am still working towards my goal...little by little. And again...I am nobody...just a person losing weight. Blogging about it for some reason (I might take it down after I publish it! LMAO!)...

Good luck to all of you out there :)


Debra Kay said...

Don't take it down please-it's important to get it out there. I enjoyed reading about it from a NON-Weight Loss blogger. It sounded more authentic for some reason.

KPR said...

Don't take it down, Loretta. It's an excellent, very motivating post. Thank you.

Melissa and Treo said...

I wrote about this too on my blog. Well, not about my emotional eating...which I also suffer from, but about my initial thoughts on my weightloss journey so far and my thoughts on how that relates to agility. Anyway, like I said on FB, I'm with you all the way my weight-loss Sistah! Get on with your healthy self!

Kelly Springer said...

This is definitely an important message for some people. Including me. ;] It's nice seeing something like this from a fellow agility person! It's really important to keep ourselves fit and healthy not just for our sake but for your four legged team member too. And I think you're absolutely right, it's paramount to have a healthy relationship with food. :]

Sarah Duke said...

Don't take it down! Be proud of what you've accomplished and your tips are great. I could never do a no ice cream diet. :)

kiwichick said...

I lost the weight because I turned 50yo and wanted to be able to run my dog and fit into decent clothes and be healthy. I was this thin before when I lived in Hawaii and did Ironman triathlons then :-) I am also a nurse and know what it is like to look after overweight people.
It is definitely a mind set. I too was an emotional eater. Since I now don't eat that way anymore I feel so much more in control of all areas in my life. i feel so good. I am never putting the weight back on again and that is the difference. keep it up Loretta. Maybe my next dog I can finally teach a running DW too as I will be able to keep up :-)

Loretta Mueller said...

Thanks for responding ladies :)

Congrats to everyone's weight loss!!!