Ah...the feeling of self doubt...I know it well.
And I SHOULD have these thoughts of self doubt about the USDAA trial this weekend :) My dogs haven't trialed since USDAA Nationals...and their training has been...well...sporadic AT BEST :)
Klink has a so-called retrained A-frame, but she hasn't done an A-frame in two weeks. NOT ONE. Doubtful that will hold up as a retrain with no RETRAINING! LOL
Winter is here, barns are cold and after this recent cold spell and the resulting muscle injuries some of the dogs have sustained, I have decided my dogs health and soundness take presidence to having a perfect January trial.
aka--I DON'T CARE :) What an amazing place to be as a handler!! To not worry, to not care about what the dogs do, if they are crazy, if they are rusty, if I am rusty! I can honestly say I don't care! I just really am not worrying about the outcome.
Amazing really...to not worry about the outcome. If you think about it...not caring about whether I Q or not, whether I mess up or not. Just going to run the dogs, and probably do a lot of laughing :)
I love this, the peace it brings me. The knowledge that agility really isn't the serious thing it used to be for me. It was a GOAL for awhile, now it is more a journey. And as it has become less of a SERIOUS thing, and since that change...my dogs and I have started doing well, imagine that :)
I don't train dogs all the time, I enjoy being with them, hiking, playing, enjoying them. And also enjoying friends, family and life (even a bit without dogs). I am enjoying the NOW. Not always planning for the future.
Stockwork has always given me this inner peace...and it has taken me a lot more time to reach it in regards to agility. Probably why I am always drawn back to working stock with my dogs, peace and balance seem to be what it brings to my life. And to see it happen also now in agility is a great thing :)
What has made this change in me? Honestly I can't tell you, but I love it, and it is great not caring about things, not being as serious, not giving as much energy to what MIGHT happen, but rather what is happening RIGHT NOW.
What a WONDERFUL place to be :)