Puppies.....

You know how I posted some stupid, sappy blog entry about how I will miss them SO much and that this part of my life I will remember forever....BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...what a freakin' joke...

That has changed...COMPLETELY...people ask 'how can you give them up! I would want to keep them ALL...how CAN YOU!?!???!

YOU CAN.

THE PUPPIES CAN LEAVE...yep, they can all go (ok not Even and Lynn) but the rest can go. They were cute, fuzzy bundles of life...now they are akin to the 7th circle of hell.

BARKING,TEETH, HAIR, POOP, PEE....yes, the 7th circle of hell. Dante should have included puppies in his writings...or maybe puppies are the 8th circle of hell...

I used to look at them for hours, now if I so much as glance for a millisecond, they all run towards me screaming, clawing and demanding I come play with them..YEAH WHATEVER! I saw what they did to Crackers! I saw how he ended up! Not to mention their new found love of crotches.....canine and human. Which I have to admit is super funny when company comes over...as they either go OH MY GOD when one attaches to the nether regions, or with EXTREME horror..try to act like nothing is happening...while Andy and I are trying SO hard to hold in the laughter.

They also have begun to understand what all dogs do in time "what can I get away with"---Even Steven (who we really really need to quit calling Steve--otherwise on a running order you will see Loretta running Steve, the female BC)...all the puppies go into kennels to eat.....and Steven thinks it is FUNNY to try to see if as soon as the door opens she can figure out how to not have to go back into the pen. She tried bolting out of the crate..that didn't work....so now she does this sit and wait game...wait until the person thinks maybe she needs more space to feel OK coming out..then she jets out and runs as fast as her tiny legs and HUGE belly can..and DIVES, not hides, but DIVES (there IS sliding involved) under the table next to the couch...

Just like her mother...

They have all been possessed with a demon of untold power...the type of demon that SHOULD, in humans make their heads spin around and spit pea soup--however in dogs it must manifest itself differently....a demon that ONE would be more than enough to drive a person to extreme drug use..but nope, I have 6 of them (Spot went home, God bless that owner I think I love her)...6 little fuzzy demons, listen to the knashing of teeth, the death of squeakers, guts and skins of what USED to be a little bear or doggie--like little white clouds all over....the complete and ear splitting screaming and barking...blood thirsty demons....

My #1 goal for the day is to get them tired so the noise stops...that is all I care about, not my hair, or my makeup, or even showering at times....JUST MAKE THE NOISE STOP!!! PLEASE....please please......stop the screaming...I feel like Clarise in Silence of the Lambs....

My house has turned into what can only be described as a total mess...I have no dining room table, I cannot walk from my laundry room to the livingroom without going through the kitchen and I think I am getting claustrophobic...I am a CLEAN FREAK...

I have always had pride in the fact that a person could come in my house and other than the sheepdog prints on the walls, you would not know I had dogs....

Now it looks more like a Petco exploded in my house, toys, food, poop bags, bowls, kennels everywhere--heck right now I KNOW there is a litte dog toy sitting on the back of the toilet..do I go pick it up...why bother...

Andy and I have decided that we are going to go into a 5-6 day drinking binge after the last of the puppies are gone, Patty, please bring more wine when you pick up Gin....that stuff was GREAT!!!!!

Steve and Lynn can stay...EVE and Lynn can stay....I kinda like those two....

Back to the booze, maybe, since Gin and Sweep go home on Saturday...we could start that morning...