Monday, January 21, 2013

I Did It...

No pictures...no fancy things...just a quick post...

It was -15 when I woke up this morning...-40 with the wind chill. 

BUT...the sun was out.

As I was driving my pups to the doggie chiro today, I started thinking...

There was a time I wouldn't have even noticed...the cold would have overtaken every thought...that bitter bite of wind...the stinging in my fingers...

Now...I notice the sun, the gorgeous frost, the beauty of the Minnesota winter...
I did it...

I remembered when I first moved up here to Minnesota...I left a wonderful job...a job that filled my soul...searching for answers...I left my family, I had never been more than 1.5 hours from. I left all the dog sports I had access to and so very close: Obedience, herding, agility...I left a wonderful home on 30 acres...I left my friends...I left my home...my world. My utopia...

I went through years of depression due to this...the sadness, the hopelessness...the utter hole of yearning I had for my family, my life...I thought I would never make it...

I made my own world, drove 3 hours one way to herd every week, learned a lot of agility on my own and LOOKED for those to help me...I moved to the country (after many sacrifices)with just a house...we planted the yard, we put up a small barn, we built the fence...I got my own sheep (I cried that day..and for many days afterwards)...I taught my first students (Love you Donna and Dianna!!) and just recently built my own barn...I MADE MY UTOPIA...from the ground up.

I did it...

 I was thinking of how Klink's visit would be. She is over her meds for Lyme...and I have really been working on her spinal fitness...I hoped her check up would be better.

It was...she was much better...I did it...

Then I looked in my rear view mirror...and I watched Lynn sleeping...and it made me think of all the people who told me the running DW was a silly idea...and stupid to even try to teach. I trained and trained and I am still training...but...

It was...because I put the time into it...I did it...

I was approached this past year by a woman in NC (Thank you Meagan!!) to teach my first seminar...ever. I was nervous...scared...and bewildered as to why anyone would want to pay to listen to what I had to say...and would I present it well? Would I be able to help? Would I fail? People told me I wasn't a world team member...told me I didn't do certain venues...you name it...

I put my heart and soul into that seminar (and everyone after that)...and I helped people...connected them to their dogs...I taught more seminars...I traveled, I got SOMEWHAT better at flying (still really bad but less really bad? LOL) I met such amazing people...learned more from them than they learned from me I am sure...

I helped people...I did it...

I took on guitar...people thought I was crazy? WHY??? It's hard to learn, it's hard to get, it's tough on your fingers...it's this and it's that...you're 32, why bother?

I practiced..sometimes more than others ;-) But I worked at it...

I can pick up the guitar and play a ton of songs, I am playing with others, making music, enjoy the things I love...I can figure out songs, and immediately start playing them. It has changed the world of music for me...a world I have enjoyed (believe it or not I can sing! LOL) but the other side, the instrumental side...it opened up that world...

I did it...

I knew for years that sugar was really causing issues with my body. Weight gain...not to mention insulin resistance and a host of other issues...I wanted to give up sugar...tried many times...people told me there was no way THEY could...which I used as an excuse...after getting a health scare (blood tests don't lie--high triglycerides...glucose issues...high BP at the age of 32???) I stopped the excuses...and I started the path of giving up sugar...which led to not only no sugar, but no gluten, and most importantly...NO DIET COKE...

It sucked...it was hard, headaches, cravings...you name it.

35 pounds later...my BP is normal, my thyroid issues are under control, I am enjoying exercise. I am faster, healthier, feel younger...and I am there for my dogs...I AM THERE. Mentally, and physically.

I now look at my body as an amazing machine...capable of the most awesome things...it's now more what my body CAN do...than what it can't. 

I am STRONG...and getting stronger everyday.

I did it...

You know what the common denominator is in all this...for all the people that said "You Can't...which there were many many people...there was one person...just one in many cases...that told me I could. Believed in me. Knew what I was capable of...and told me.

It just takes one...one person. One smile, one positive comment...one little thing. To help someone say "I did it"...

I'm proud of how much soul searching I have done in 2012...I have really figured out who I am, who I want to be.

I don't need to win the Finals at Nationals...
I don't need to always be the best...
I don't need to have the most amazing dogs (although all my dogs are amazing...just sayin')...
I don't need to handle like anyone else...

You know what I want to be more than anything else??

I want to be one of those people that can help someone realize how capable they are. I want to be one of those people who give strength, and hope to others.

I want to be one of those people that help someone say "I did it"...

OK...so one cute dog picture...I had to :)
Realize Your Dreams...and thank you to everyone who helped me realize mine.

8 comments:

DeltaBluez Tess said...

Absolutely amazing and an inspiration

irvinsa said...

Thank you for your honesty Loretta, this is truly inspirational. In this quote you set out exactly what everyone of us who is a teacher aspire to. I'm so glad I got to see this at the start of a new semester. "I want to be one of those people that can help someone realize how capable they are. I want to be one of those people who give strength, and hope to others."

Laura, Lance, and Vito said...

Inspirational. All except for the -15 degree thing. I'm pretty sure your brain must be frost bitten right now to not be dreaming you moved to California instead.

Thank you for all your help with the Toller!

Patty said...

Thank you for sharing! Very inspiring!

Val Hobbs said...

I'd be happy to send you a copy of my award-winning children's book SHEEP in exchange for a plug on your site.

Valerie Hobbs

Steffi said...

Amazing post - definitely inspires me to keep on trying and never give up!

Mara said...

Thanks for writing this! You are an amazing inspiration and I really needed to read something like this today.

Knotty Dogs said...

I popped on to your blog to see what my old friend Loretta was up to. Saw lots of posts about trialing, etc., which is great but doesn't tell me much. Then I saw this post ... and it make me cry. I'm so happy for you, Loretta. You've come a long, long way.