Monday, January 3, 2011

A Guide...

I have 7 dogs (in case you somehow managed to miss that...if so I wonder if you are illiterate)...and I am doing workouts at home.

I do a combination of a lot of things...DVD's, treadmill work, etc etc...and well...the dogs like to add their own kinds of workouts to help me with my strength, and reaction time :)
So...to help share the information, here it is:
Full Tilt Dogs Guide To Helping Your Human Get Fit!!
By: Ace, Zip, Klink, Gator, Lynn, Even and Crackers
© 2011 Full Tilt Border Collies Blog

Lynn, my darling little helper, loves it when I run or walk on the treadmill. She enjoys trying to take tennis balls, stand at the front of the treadmill, and DROP them onto the belt...thus sending the ball shooting to the back of the room...bouncing off the wall and hitting me either in the lower back or butt.

This is great for coordination, speeding up your human and jumping. DO NOT try this while your human is listening to headphones, he/she is trying to "zone out" during their workout--they won't see the ball...NOT a good idea. Humans above the age of 12 don't bounce, they fall....HARD. Even's idea of "helping" is, when I am doing ANY DVD, to amass a giant pile of toys, and systematically bring them to me, jump up on me, putting both front paws directly into my crotch with such force I have to hit pause and regroup before continuing on.

This builds core strength in your human, he/she must keep their stomach/groin area guarded at all times. If for some reason your human lashes out at you, just go to their backside and do the same thing, but instead scrape your claws down their lower back and buttocks. Works those gluteus maximus muscles. Klink's "helping hand" is to stare at me...whenever I am working out. No, not just lay there and occasionally look up...but rather STARE...

Staring at your human will make them self conscious...so they work out harder, push themselves to their limits so they can get in better physical form.If you can get a buddy to also stare WITH YOU...it makes the human twice as self conscious...add another dog, 3 times, and so on, and so forth.Zip likes to aid in my workouts by taking the things I use during my workouts and hiding them around the house...sometimes in her kennel, in the bed where I lay on them as I am getting in for the night... Ahhh...so relaxing to crawl into Egyptian cotton sheets with SOMETHING in there.

This is a great warm up for your human. If he/she has to walk around looking for their workout gear they will prevent muscle injury.Crackers is all about the core/ab workouts. He loves to stand ON my stomach as I do my crunches.

This adds extra weight to your humans abdominal workouts. Thus increasing core strength...combine this with the "Even Steven Two Paw Crotch Attack" and your human will have a 6 pack in no time!!!Ace's idea of helping me...what am I thinking...the dog lays around ALL DAY LONG...and sleeps, and only moves to go potty...he is helping me with meditation maybe??

Ace fell asleep before he could write his addition to the article. Gator has the most inventive way of "motivating" my workouts...as I am stretching or doing yoga...he will walk up to me, proceed to do a "downward facing dog" and then let one go. Oh yes...a nice juicy one...I am grateful if it makes noise so I have a warning...otherwise it is a SILENT BUT DEADLY one and I take a deep breath in and almost vomit all over the living room. He has done this EVERY.SINGLE.TIME since I started. He is now not allowed anywhere near me during my workouts. WTF Gator??

Ripping one during your humans workouts forces them to concentrate on their breathing and also to focus their minds away from the task at hand...it is a great exercise to do to help your human work through a particularly difficult exercise.

There you have it! All of us at Full Tilt Border Collies hope you can use this article to get the most out of your workouts! Here's to keeping those New Years Resolutions!

Day 4: 365 Day ProjectAce---doing what he does best :) Don't you just wanna cuddle with him?? :)

2 comments:

One Dog, One Camera said...

LOL I love this post! I laughed so hard through the entire thing :) My favorite tho is Lynn and the tennis ball! I had to call hubby over to read this! :) Thanks for making me laugh on this Monday.

Loretta Mueller said...

Glad to hear you found it funny :) My bruises could tell you they don't agree, but me personally...well...I love my dogs :)