Friday, December 24, 2010

I don't like exercise...

So it's Christmas Eve...and I am bored already...so I think I will blog...It's not like I can go drive to the mall and hang out, that would be my very own personal hell. Or clean the house (OCD Andy already gutted and bleached everything)...and normally if I were bored, I would just eat...but that can't happen anymore...so blog it is...

I have reached the 15 pound mark...

Yippee...but lets be real, I don't like exercising. Somewhere between when I lived in Missouri and moved to Minnesota...it stopped.

I used to be a size 1/2, really. And I used to run 2 + miles a day, everyday, I loved it, I got that "runners high"...um...that isn't happening now.

I get "runners breathing heavy", "runners legs feeling like they will fall off", "runners can't get out of bed without pain" and "runners swamp a**"...but no runners high.

And Andy also lost his 6 pack during the move to Minnesota...stupid movers, they probably broke it, swept it up and never told him. BAD, BAD movers. But Andy, being a MAN, can stop eating his daily pudding cup and lose 60 pounds...WTF...Not cool dude. Not cool. However, something deep and dark inside me revels in the fact that he won't get his six pack back without a lot of sweating...tee hee...

Unless you look like you are a model for the Bowflex commercial...getting sweaty ISN'T attractive...you are just a jiggly, sweaty person. Ewwwwwwwww...don't hug me.

But it is getting easier...I don't have this mind over matter discussion whenever I need to work out...where the fat girl says "DON'T DO IT! Have some chocolate, or some fried chicken, or a stick of butter"...and the skinny (or at least I think she is in there) b*tch says " DO IT, YOU ARE FAT and need to work out" (she's kinda mean actually...but she's skinny so she can get away with it). The skinny b*tch is winning out. And I am getting smaller, feeling better, and I think I can run faster, or maybe that's in my head?

I found out I really enjoy working with weights. I crank up the hard rock, and feel like I am Arnold S for a bit...I don't get as sweaty...I like that. And getting stronger is cool. I can do push ups, and not die after 4 :)

I did this workout called Ab RIPPER...yeah...note to self: you WILL be in pain after a workout named that...but I lived...sitting to standing was hard, as was lifting ANYTHING, or walking, or raising my arms, getting out of bed etc...but I have now done "the ripper" several times and sure, there is still pain...but it isn't all encompassing like it was. I think maybe yesterday I saw an ab...as I was stretching...it was there one second, gone the next, but I think it was there...I am sure post workout hallucinations are common, but I saw an ab...I did, I did.

But aerobics...or running...I am still not liking...walking is like watching paint dry...so I gave that up. Seriously...walking, on a treadmill, in the winter, is the most boring thing EVER. And there is NO way I am going outside to run around in the cold. Whatever. Not happening. So I do my DVD's...and I turn the volume off and put on my ipod and rock out while Denise Austin or some other crap like that is on the TV. BTW, Denise Austin has THE MOST ANNOYING VOICE EVER. Shut up. Just shut up now. I want to hit you. Shhhhh...thus the volume turning down.

More than aerobic activity is yoga...not gonna happen, I just can't do it...just can't...maybe someday in my evolution it will happen I will want to do yoga...as of right now, I am avoiding it like the plague.

Stupid exercise...the GOOD thing is, now...when I get stressed, the skinny b*tch is telling me to go work out, instead of eating...which for me is HUGE! Go skinny b*tch!

With Christmas tomorrow...that will be a challenge, but I am pretty confident I'll make it through...I want to be healthy, and look good, and run fast and be sexy while sweating (ok, that just made me throw up a little)...maybe not...but maybe just looking not icky while sweating? How's that for a goal?

3 comments:

An English Shepherd said...

Have a Great Christmas

Wizz :-)

D said...

Huge Congrats on reaching the -15 lbs!

Loretta Mueller said...

Thanks D :) It feels good!