Sunday, September 13, 2009

Mental Management...FAIL.

I have been working on my mental management...and things have been going well. Very well. So well I was thinking I was out of my "angry handler phase"...I mean, things had been going well for almost an entire year! And my dogs were running great, success was happening, things were doing VERY WELL....However, I believe I was tested at a USDAA trial Labor Day weekend and I FAILED. Miserably.

I let a person get to me, I reacted and not only reacted I let it ruin part of my day. I was so upset I was literally shaking...

That issue affected my handling and MORE sportsmanship. I was innappropriate, I was angry and I got caught up in the circle of self defeat and I was reactive. I was making comments, I was mad at myself, I was mad at everything...I let ONE PERSON ruin my day.

I could blame this person, but in reality, I can't control others behavior, just MY reaction to it. I reacted horribly. I LET that person get to me. When I really should have just walked away.

This non-sportsman conduct lead me to even appologize to the judge during some down time (no I didn't go after her or anything like that). She said she didn't even hear anything...but I told her regardless, it was not appopriate behavior and I was sorry. She just smiled and said "things happen and I appreciate the appology". She didn't care. She didn't give it a second though. Which is EXACTLY what I should have done.

I failed. I failed miserably, and now I am picking myself back up again. I was so upset with myself that it has affected me for days.

But, this failure had some positive sides to it. It made me realize how much more I need to work on mental management. It made me realize *I* have the control to react to something positively or negatively. And ONE person doesn't have any power to affect my day or my behavior without MY permission. I gave that person permission that Labor Day weekend. And I will NEVER again.

And most importantly, at least it did not affect how I treated my dogs, I never got upset at them, I never went to THAT for that I am very happy.

So I guess there are a few positives to this failure...I suppose that is what failure is there to teach us.

So the next time you are confronted by a person or situation that causes issues, walk away, let it go, do not give it the power to affect you. Please learn from my mistakes.

Someone sent me this youtube video...speaks volumes to me.


Nancy Gagliardi Little said...

That person that made comments that affected you can also be very kind to people at trials. I'm sure that there have been people that have thought that you or I have said or acted poorly over the years, too. We all have bad days and we all can react poorly to situations. It's all about life's lessons...cup half empty or is is it half full?

There is always a different way to look at things. We can choose to be happy, or we can choose to get upset. Sometimes it takes those episodes to make an impact on us so that we can make some important changes.

Great you can move on to bigger and better things.

fulltiltbcs said...

Very true Nancy, very very true. So much I did change that part of the blog a bit, reworded it as that was no the message I wanted to convey.

We can all have bad days, it happens, and I think I would worry MORE about the person that is ALWAYS happy (or maybe want the drug they take!! LOL)

However it was a great lesson for me.

Nancy Gagliardi Little said...

Just remember that we try to get our dogs to fail so that they can succeed and improve. We need to cut ourselves a break, too. I think you've come a long way and these are the kinds of situations that take us out of a plateau into a new place. One of my favorite quotes is "Change the way you look at things, and the things around you will change".